Amy Villarreal

How Affirmations Work

It’s difficult to see the science behind how affirmations work when you’re just starting out. In fact, most people – myself included when I first began – find it silly to express themselves in this way and rarely catch on to the magic for a prolonged period of time. If you’re like me, when you hear the word affirmations you probably think of that video of the little girl in her bathroom yelling into her mirror “I CAN DO ANYTHING GREAT!” I mean who wouldn’t, it’s adorable!

Want to jump in and get started with affirmations? Go to the end of this post for a daily affirmation tool you can use each day.

But, affirmations aren’t really like this….

Yesterday, I wrote an article about an interesting question I ask myself to realign my path toward the goals I want to achieve. The question is “what remarkably stupid things am I doing today that will ruin my life?” It helps me to see not the tasks I should be doing, but rather helps me evaluate the tasks I should not be doing. As I went on my day and began to think more about how this question leads me on my path, an empowering thought came to me.

“If I’ve been this blessed to experience so much of the world, so much giving, so much growth and success already in my life, then what God has in store for me next is just going to be unfathomably amazing…”

Like…. WOW. And, I don’t say this to rub into anyone’s face that things are going well for me and that I have success and happiness just flowing endlessly. The reality is that my life is probably just as ordinary as others. A lot of people are probably much more blessed than I am. But, I am profoundly grateful for all that I have. That thought I had proved to me that I really do believe that abundance and joy are not just coming for me, but they already are here. The belief I have is like a fire in me that no one can put out.

This is how affirmations work. Affirmations rework your brain to cause fierce optimism and positivity. I love that word fierce to describe the outcome of affirmations. It means “furiously eager or intense.” Can you stop fierce? I don’t think so. You can try, but it would take a lot of effort. And, so affirmations every day – simple positive phrases that you can listen to and say each day work to make you believe what maybe you didn’t know you could believe in before.

If you don’t believe that this could work for you, I challenge you to just try it.

An Easy Daily Affirmation

Each morning for the next week, wake up and say this to yourself:

I love myself.
I am grateful I am strong and confident.
I am grateful I am blessed and successful.

After 7 days, leave me a comment or DM me on Instagram @IntentlyAmy and tell me how you feel. If you’re not fiercely believing these statements and feeling their impact then keep going.

Change Your Perspective: Ask Not What Should I Do, But What Shouldn’t I Do

The best question you can ask yourself today is “what remarkably stupid things am I doing today to ruin my life?” Is that dramatic enough for you? Ruin is BIG word, but really we don’t fully understand the impact of our decisions until they’ve slapped us in the face. As I reflect on this question, it’s actually really simple for me to see that a simple change in my perspective can completely change myself.

This whole internal conversation was spurned by a consideration I had about what the difference is between perception and perspective. Perception is your interpretation of a situation. Whereas perspective is your view on a situation. Perspective is guided by your beliefs and attitudes and isn’t what you take away but rather what you bring to the table.

Consider what it takes to get motivated to accomplish your goals. Let’s use fitness as an example. You see that super fit, healthy image of a person that makes you feel a lot of different emotions. Perhaps, you see that image or person and think to yourself how badly you wish you could look that way. Maybe it evokes want, or guilt, or shame. Maybe it inspires you to go for a run or hit the gym. But, rarely are we thinking about that positive image when we’re in a compromising situation that we know will keep us from hitting our goals.

Instead, during those moments when we’re tempted by a donut or a big, unhealthy pizza that we know will just sabotage our diet, our will power crumbles. I don’t about you, but I don’t just carry magical motivation cues everywhere I go. Finding motivation in a time of what feels like crisis isn’t really my go-to. But, what if we were motivated by what we don’t want and our perspective is just skewed.

What if we saw these unhealthy habits and our view on it wasn’t that it was a delicious meal guaranteed to deliver a hit of endorphins and make my tastebuds explode with flavors? What if we thought instead that the pizza or donut is going to RUIN MY LIFE. How? Well, first it will clog my arteries or inject me huge increase in glucose levels. Then, I may get diabetes or start to gain fat around my belly that eventually causes a heart attack. That could lead to me in the hospital or maybe even premature death.

Ok, this is a very extreme example that doesn’t happen that fast usually, but let us for a moment think about how our brains are wired to think about the foods we eat in those moments. Shifting your perspective and asking yourself simply how you’re contributing to negativity or life-ruining consequences could save you from the rollercoaster of pleasure-seeking decisions that actually in the end do not provide you with any true value.

Sticking with the fitness example, now imagine looking at that desirable image of what you wish you looked like and thinking to yourself that it’s not too far off from reality. Your perspective shifts and now you’re not thinking about all the hard things you have to do to achieve that – lift weights, workout, eat healthy, but rather you are looking through a new lens of what you shouldn’t do. Suddenly, you’re making better decisions by recognizing that donuts are actually not all that good, pizza is kind of greasy and makes you feel bloated, sitting down all day makes you feel more tired, drinking a soda gets you all jittery and then makes you crash.

You simply asked yourself – what remarkably stupid things am I doing today that could ruin my life? Suddenly those things seem silly and unimportant. The best takeaway I had from reading that question to myself is that sometimes it’s just too hard to resist temptations thinking about the ways that I could make better decisions. But, when I look at it in terms of what stupid decisions I’m making and their consequences, it can be very eye opening and inspiring.

If you’re interested in exploring more on “changing your perspective”, check out this powerful other example.

I hope this helps you too! Share your thoughts in the comments or drop me a DM on Instagram @IntentlyAmy.

75 HARD: 75 Days of Mental and Physical Growth

When I first learned about 75 Hard – a super 75 day challenge created by Andy Frisella – I didn’t actually stop to look up how it was supposed to work. I simply learned about the rules from a friend, made up some of my own rules, and dove right in. It wasn’t because I wasn’t interested in the real rules, rather I was so excited I didn’t even realize that it was a legitimate program that people are doing all over the world.

So, about 14 days into my new life, feeling empowered, kind of achy, and mentally fresh, I looked up the “the 75 hard challenge” and the first link I saw was Frisella’s text heavy explanation. It felt a little dicey at first, with big disclaimers and a sort of raw web page that didn’t feel legitimate. But, then I realized, this program is so much different than I thought. The words that stuck out to me at the very top of his website say:

“THIS IS NOT A FITNESS PROGRAM
75 HARD IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM”
Source: https://andyfrisella.com/pages/75hard-info

Well if that doesn’t pique your interest… So, I dove deeper and what this program claims to do is change your life completely. And, who wouldn’t want that? Things from being better friends and family members, to getting raises at work, and becoming more confident, are the outcomes Frisella says are possible when you take part in the 75 Hard program.

Opinions on 75 Hard

Then something interesting happened. I continued my research, scrolling down the search results page only to find one negative article after another. Now, I’m 23 days into this program and yes, it’s hard. I’m tired. My body is sore all over and I can’t get enough sleep right now. But, I feel amazing! I am balancing everything in my life to a point where I’m able to do more, I have more self-confidence than ever, and I actually wake up and crave my daily routine of positive affirmations and motivational “priming”. I’ll get to my routines in another blog.

So, why are all these big media sites bashing the 75 hard challenge? I’ve concluded it’s because people don’t understand what it takes to transform yourself. One of the caveats of the program is to select a diet program and stick with it for the 75 days. Now, when people are desperate to make changes, they sometimes rush to do the most drastic thing they can. Well, that’s a surefire way to get yourself into a mess fast. Everyone is well aware that yo-yo dieting is a real thing and that intense changes to your diet or fitness routines are not sustainable. They can lead to health problems and opposite intended effects on your body like fat and weight gain.

Hence, the negativity surrounding 75 Hard. Since you get to choose your own diet, you can be make this terrible decision and it’s easy if you don’t do your research first! If you’re choosing a drastic diet plan and a drastic fitness plan, then yes you may be making this 75 days more dangerous than it needs to be. However, that’s not the point of a 75 day challenge. So, there are some different ways to think about it and make this a more positive, safe program. (Why don’t writers ever speak to the positive things?!)

Forming Life-Long Habits

75 days is a long time! That’s over two months of consistently doing the same activities day in and day out to expand your mind and grow your mental fortitude. They say it takes just 21 days to create a new habit… well that’s actually a bit of a myth. There are several articles now backed by scientific studies that prove it can take about 66 days or 2 months. So, during this 75 days, you’re creating completely new habits for yourself. Imagine, just 75 days and even if you just wanted to make one positive change – you can do it. That’s so empowering to think about!

The most important thing someone could do when preparing for the challenge is decide on the most sustainable habits to create life-changing results and not contribute to dangerous behaviors. I mean let’s be honest, if you do something consistently for 75 days, there is no doubt you’re going to see some change! But, you also must be able to stick with it.

So, my positive spin on the 75 Hard challenge isn’t to warn people of the potential dangers and pitfalls. I’d rather encourage people to choose something that’s simple and accomplishable in 75 days. Remember, it’s every single day for over 2 months. You have to mentally commit to that change and when you do, it can be so powerful. It doesn’t have to be a crash diet or impossible calorie restriction because 75 days is enough time for any small diet changes to show big results.

Plus, you’ll get so addicted to the feeling of just being stronger, smarter, clearer in thought, that you’ll want to do more than 75 days anyway. Think about this for the long haul…

I’m interested in your opinions! Leave a comment or let’s chat on Instagram @IntentlyAmy!

Les Brown Speaks to Me: Finding Motivation

A wise friend has said to me multiple times he needs motivation every single day to get going. There is no day that doesn’t start with a routine that opens his mind to new ideas, inspires good ‘ole hard work, and encourages him to get moving. That sat with me. Then, I adopted that same thought process. Now, it drives me and has opened my mind to achieving more than I ever thought possible.

It now surprises me when someone says they don’t need motivation. I’m a pretty active and “busy” person. Not only am I working a full-time at a start-up tech company that I’m 200% invested in helping grow, but I also have a side hustle consulting for small businesses on marketing, and I’m getting my Master’s in Business Administration. Plus, I workout at least 7 times a week and dedicate at least an hour every day to development and growth, like learning to play guitar or reading up on the latest technology and business news.

However, I don’t wake up every day powered up and fueled, ready to take on everything. It takes a spark, a jolt of inspiration to get going and find the energy to do it all. For me, Les Brown’s inspiring stories or a few videos on the Motivate App are what get me going each morning while I drive to the gym or while I sit in the sauna. (Les Brown’s the Power of Purpose literally brings me so much joy.) Finding what speaks to you is an important part of the process… so we’ll get there. But first it’s seeking that inspiration.

The way I think about it is that I don’t have to muster up all the energy in the world to get my day started at 100% effort. All I have to do is have enough energy to roll out of bed, put my clothes on, and be open to receiving motivation. If I can open my phone and just watch one of those videos or listen to Les speak, then it happens…. my brain powers up and my gears start turning. And, after that you can’t stop me! It even gives me physical energy to push through tough workouts.

Today’s blog is just to inspire you to think about things differently. Are you someone who doesn’t believe you need motivation? Have you ever considered adding “getting motivation” as the number one thing on your to-do list each day? Perhaps a shift in that mindset could lead to something great.

The Excuses for Avoiding Motivational Content

Among some of my favorite reasons people avoid motivational content are:

“I don’t need motivation. I’m happy the way I am.”
“That stuff is a bunch of BS. No one really needs that to be successful.”
“My life is great. I don’t need anything else, so why would I seek out motivation?”

So, what if we rejected these beliefs? What if we accepted instead that we are not as powerful as we think we are? That even though our lives are wonderful, they can always be better. We can always be better and share that light with others.

Our brains are powerful networks and the science behind motivation is actually quite interesting. Today, I challenge you to just CONSIDER. In the next few blogs, I’ll explore the science behind motivation, my habits with motivation, and great ideas for seeking motivation. For now, just consider what would happen if you sought out motivation first thing every morning.

Whether it’s an inspirational quote, a series of affirmations, or a hyper-charged pump up video, just consider shifting your mindset to accepting a different way of starting your day. Then, grow from there.

Plant the seed. Watch it grow.

Thoughts on Parenting from a Childfree Woman

I started blogging about being childfree in 2018. It was during that time that I was able to digest and reflect on all the reasons people have children or choose the other path in life. I explored all sorts of topics, and listened to a lot of stories. Ultimately, it led me to focusing in on conscious choice – the idea that every decision in your life should be a conscious commitment.

Eventually what I found is that the conversations were sometimes too hostile. Two communities divided and completely unsupportive of the other. I found it to be a negative space that I just no longer could support. Childfree women were openly hateful toward children and parents were openly shaming childfree women. I decided this was not the type of energy I wanted to take part in every day.

After reflecting more on this and thinking about what I really wanted for my own future I realized there was a lot to break down. Maybe childfree isn’t the answer. Maybe my problem was that people weren’t using conscious choice in their decision to have kids and that made parenting a little off putting to me. What if I could do things differently and inspire others to do the same? I started to mold a new purpose to my blogging… sharing the ideas and wisdom I uncover throughout my journey of seeking knowledge and spiritual growth.

I listen to motivational videos every day… every day! It gets me going and reminds me why I am working so hard. One particular video got me thinking… Parenting is something you must prepare for and commit to. We literally must train for the act of raising children the way we train for sports or a fitter body. If we want to succeed and make this a fruitful decision, then we must be serious about preparation.

Life is a playoff game. We only get one chance at making each day the best it can be. It absolutely matters what you eat, what you think, what you prepare for.

If my commitment is to have to children then I have to wake up every day committed to making their life fantastic. The only way that will happen is by waking up every day with the attitude to create that life for them. For making myself the best I can be for them.

Teaching them. Growing them. Building them. Making them the best they can be that’s what we choose when we choose parenting. So, that’s why it’s important to choose excellence in our preparation. Choosing to be a parent is a life choice to be committed to something greater than ourselves, to shaping a new generation.

Perhaps we should think about preparation and how we train for these big moments in our life. Are we taking the steps to be our best? Are we asking ourselves hard enough questions each day? Are we pushing ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually enough to create growth?

If we answer no, then are we truly prepared for the responsibilities of parenting?

Think bigger…

The Good and The Bad of 2020 Lessons Learned

Goodbye 2020, hello 2021 and a whole new chapter in my life. As I enter this new year with a whole heart full of gratitude and hope, I wanted to share a few of the things that made 2020 both challenging and rewarding for me. I also want to make a few things clear… I’m doing this because of a few reasons.

I am focusing on being more honest and open in 2021. This is not just with others, but with myself as well.

The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself… Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.
Nelson Mandela

2. Blogging helps me stay creative and fulfills my love of writing. Making it a consistent practice helps me continually improve my writing and use of words. I always wanted to be an author and this is sort of like my place for that, it’s my life book.

Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.
Virginia Woolf

3. While I don’t put everything on display, I do seek to share my adventures in hopes to find connections with people who have shared experiences or to lead someone to discover something that may be useful in their life. If my blogs impact even just one person, I’ve done something positive for the world and therefore, it isn’t all for naught.

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
Sylvia Plath

The Good of 2020

All in all, 2020 was filled with a lot of learning opportunities. Everyone had to adjust to a new way of working and a new way of living life. My journey through it brought me to understand a few things better:

How to show gratitude – I started my daily gratitude list practice once again
How to be more positive each day – I made a commitment to wake up each day with a smile
Renewed friendships – I rekindled a few friendships that really have helped me get through tough times, but also that I feel I can offer a lot of support to
I learned to give with my heart again – Always a giver, I felt like I had lost that spirit. But, through renewed friendships and a focus on healing, I’m finding my path again.
Importance of family – I moved back to Texas to be closer to my family and I’m so happy as their presence is so important to me. I made the commitment to truly see my family as a priority.

In 2020, I also had a few surprises and exciting updates:

Started a new job
Began my journey to earning my Master’s in Business Administration
Found new opportunities to learn and grow in my personal health and development
Created a new business venture
Developed new skills

It’s amazing how much progress we make over a year, when we look back on it all. I believe I’ve grown the most during the most challenging times. So while most people wanted 2020 to end, I didn’t want it to. I was stretching myself, growing, and really becoming a whole new me. From running more, to eating healthier, to finding a way to build my own business and grow my mind. I don’t think 2020 was all that bad for my personal development.

But of course, there were times when it wasn’t so easy. Here are some of the things that forced me into this growing stage last year.

The Bad of 2020

Because I try not to dwell when “bad” things happen to me, I’m choosing to really only share a couple of the things that had the biggest impact.

My 10 year relationship with my husband ended and I moved away from him and California.
My grandmother got really sick, unrelated to covid, and has been in a hospital since March. With covid happening though, it’s prevented me from seeing her.

So, now that I’ve shared that, I think there are probably a lot of other people in the world who could say they’ve had it worse. Sure. Everyone is battling something. What I think was the most powerful thing about my “bad” list of 2020, was that neither of these things has really brought me down. Despite going through a divorce, despite having a heart full of worry and despair, I was able to achieve so much this year and still come out positive.

My good list will always outweigh my bad list. My good list just grows and grows. It’s where I put my focus. The bad list always has a light at the end of the tunnel. It always has a positive spin and I know that these bad situations don’t last forever, nor do the good ones. We have to keep mining for them and wake up every day with a smile ready to accept them.

I am working to bring a light to people’s lives in 2021. I am working to share what I find to be the most effective ways to look passed the bad and look at how to effectively flip it. My blog means so much to me. While I am always “busy” working and studying and focusing on my health, I know there is plenty I can be doing to share and make a positive impact. So for YOU, I commit to being a writer and to sharing what I learn. I commit to seeking new things to share with YOU my readers and my community.

I also commit to being a great writer so that you never have to feel burdened by my typos… 😛

To peace and wellness in 2021.