Category: Family

parenting, childfree, co-parenting, adopting, fostering, and other family topics

Thoughts on Parenting from a Childfree Woman

I started blogging about being childfree in 2018. It was during that time that I was able to digest and reflect on all the reasons people have children or choose the other path in life. I explored all sorts of topics, and listened to a lot of stories. Ultimately, it led me to focusing in on conscious choice – the idea that every decision in your life should be a conscious commitment.

Eventually what I found is that the conversations were sometimes too hostile. Two communities divided and completely unsupportive of the other. I found it to be a negative space that I just no longer could support. Childfree women were openly hateful toward children and parents were openly shaming childfree women. I decided this was not the type of energy I wanted to take part in every day.

After reflecting more on this and thinking about what I really wanted for my own future I realized there was a lot to break down. Maybe childfree isn’t the answer. Maybe my problem was that people weren’t using conscious choice in their decision to have kids and that made parenting a little off putting to me. What if I could do things differently and inspire others to do the same? I started to mold a new purpose to my blogging… sharing the ideas and wisdom I uncover throughout my journey of seeking knowledge and spiritual growth.

I listen to motivational videos every day… every day! It gets me going and reminds me why I am working so hard. One particular video got me thinking… Parenting is something you must prepare for and commit to. We literally must train for the act of raising children the way we train for sports or a fitter body. If we want to succeed and make this a fruitful decision, then we must be serious about preparation.

Life is a playoff game. We only get one chance at making each day the best it can be. It absolutely matters what you eat, what you think, what you prepare for.

If my commitment is to have to children then I have to wake up every day committed to making their life fantastic. The only way that will happen is by waking up every day with the attitude to create that life for them. For making myself the best I can be for them.

Teaching them. Growing them. Building them. Making them the best they can be that’s what we choose when we choose parenting. So, that’s why it’s important to choose excellence in our preparation. Choosing to be a parent is a life choice to be committed to something greater than ourselves, to shaping a new generation.

Perhaps we should think about preparation and how we train for these big moments in our life. Are we taking the steps to be our best? Are we asking ourselves hard enough questions each day? Are we pushing ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually enough to create growth?

If we answer no, then are we truly prepared for the responsibilities of parenting?

Think bigger…

A

Apologies to the Mommy and Daddy Bloggers

There once was a time when I thought I didn’t know if I could ever understand why parents do what they do. I would get angry about all the children who didn’t have support systems, were kept unhealthy or unfed, or just didn’t get attention because their parents didn’t realize the cost of having children.

Then, I realized I was putting all parents into one category. I started to hate on the idea of parenting and looking at all the reasons why not to have kids for the sake of demonizing the choice. Yes, I know that’s completely unfair.

So, here’s my apology to the Mommy and Daddy Bloggers and how our Community will work to encapsulate and support all types of families – those childfree and those child filled.

Sorry to the Moms and Dads

The choice to become a parent isn’t an easy choice to all. Maybe it’s an intuition or a deep desire that encouraged you to make that first admission to your significant other or maybe just to yourself out loud. Some just know they want to be moms and dads, others aren’t sure until it clicks one day.

What I think I forgot to think about over the last few years is that the decision to become a parent is basically the same decision path of choosing to be child free. You go over the details painstakingly. Will I be able to afford this lifestyle? How will I raise a good human? It’s heart wrenching, nauseating (literally) and then there’s the birth. For those women choosing to put their bodies through all the work to have a baby, that’s a big decision.

So, where did I go wrong in putting you aside? I honestly can’t go back to the single moment, but I am so truly sorry. Your choices, your struggles, your journeys are vital to our society. They are arguably more important than the choices to be childfree. You are the reason that generations will continue. Your kids are our future and it starts with the decisions you make.

How the Community Supports You

As I was working through what this community stands for, I couldn’t stop thinking about the selfless actions of parents. The decisions that you make every day to be a good parent and the choices you have to make to ensure it all works out for their future is incredible. I started to realize that parents, whether birth parents, adoptive, foster, or even co-parents, need support systems!

The goal of the Intently Community is to drive conversations around conscious choice and intentional living, and how those ways of living impact our families, careers, and lifestyles.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to share your story about how you came to the decision to have kids? I think more people would love to hear it! By sharing these journeys, we can help others on their path to finding happiness and satisfaction out of life.

This is a place where all parents are welcome!