Category: Intentional Living

Identity – Discovery, Decisions, Determination

When it comes to your identity, you’ve probably heard of “identity theft” or “identity crisis” and you may have felt scared or anxious when thinking about these topics. What most people are scared to lose, they rarely stop to think about how it’s created and protected. I’m not talking about identity theft protection or ensuring your personal information isn’t leaked online, sure that’s important to us and we are triggered by the idea of losing our identity to the dangers of the world. Rather, I’m talking about the identity that forms your habits, thoughts and actions. This is the identity that someone couldn’t steal from us because it’s uniquely ours.

Identity is what drives your decision making. I talk a lot about conscious choices in this blog. Whether you’re making big life decisions or small daily choices, when you walk through life making them consciously you are honoring your identity. You’re saying in those moments that you know exactly who you are and what you stand for. You take action based on that understanding of yourself. But, what happens when you want to change? When you go from being a tv watcher to a gym goer, or you go from being a casual drinker to a sober friend. These are identity changes that we struggle to embrace and stick with.

See, I used to think I was lost. You may have also found yourself in this situation – wondering who you are, what your purpose is, and why you’re living this path. I used to question everything about my life, until recently when I listened to an amazing motivational video called Recreating your Identity.

Recreating Your Identity

In this video, the speaker talks about comfortability. He suggests that we all believe we are a certain person or on a certain life path because we are programmed to believe it is right for us and that we just need to embrace it and fall victim to it. He says that we look for change and we look for opportunities to grow, but our identity can actually get in our way. He says “your identity is going to literally go out of its way to deceive you, so that you go back to your old identity.” Isn’t it crazy to think our own self can get in the way of reaching a new potential. We’re tough beings…

But, he then goes on to talk about how we can recreate our identity, recreate who we are.

Consider the choice to be sober from drugs and alcohol. Consciously, I’ve not had alcohol in 30 days. But, a big part of my life has previously been to hang out with friends and family and enjoy a couple of drinks. We drink and dance, making a party out of any situation when we can be together. While I love that time with my family, drinking doesn’t need to be part of the equation to still be fun. However, I’ve sought comfortability in that. It’s familiar to me. Not participating scares me because it’s different.

But, as I learn to build my identity and become authentic and genuine to myself, this identity I create is just another conscious choice. In this motivational video that I watched, the speaker talks about going through four phases of transformation. These are:

  • Inception – the excitement stage: “ignorance on fire” you are so pumped up you are going on pure excitement
  • Deception – the moment of truth stage: “consciously incompetent” you may quit because you realize how hard it is to change
  • Transformation – the summit stage: “consciously competent” you are aware you’re getting results and you’ve made it through the hardest parts to see that things are actually working
  • Identity – the new you: “your new self” you have developed a whole new person and your new actions are now unconscious choices that you make every day

I like to think I’m in the Transformation stage of my new identity. With consistency and patience, I’m starting to make choices that are more in line with my new character and way of living. My new identity is just around the corner. I’m not sure how long the Transformation stage will need to last to finally be in that “unconscious competent” stage, but the key here is that you must make it through the Deception to get closer to change.

During those stages the conscious choices we make, as hard as they may be, are the most vital to creating lasting change. Today my mantra is to believe in my new identity and to consciously reinforce the actions and choices that make me who I AM.

Watch the full Recreate Your Identity video here, shared by No Limits.

What changes are you making to your identity? Leave a comment or find me on Instagram at IntentlyAmy.

Seeking Authenticity

An original poem about authenticity.

I love myself she said.
All the eyes darted toward her.
I’m unscripted she said.
Her papers flew out in every direction.
Stumbling through the room, gravity felt heavy.

I need to get some air she said.
Whispers filled the quietness like waves crashing on the shore.
There’s nothing here for me she said.
With a last glance back at envious, interested eyes, she walked into the distance.
Many are left behind when you pursue your truth.

Becoming an Authentic Self

As I looked up the definition of authentic, I had a really hard time with the dictionary. First, there are several sources that have a little bit of a different flare. My favorite out of all them was : of undisputed origin; genuine. This is just the definition you get from searching on Google, but out of them all it felt as if it carried the most weight. There is something about “undisputed” that really resonated.

Think for a moment about who you are. What is your identity? Where do you come from? What do you stand for? These elements of you are, these should be characteristics of your person that are truly undisputed. Miriam Webster defines authentic as : true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. That’s fine I suppose, sure be true to your own, but now consider being undisputedly genuine. Like no one and no thing could argue that’s truly who you are.

Today felt like a good day to reflect on what makes me feel undisputedly like myself. As I continue to work on who I AM, writing out my identify and what I believe I stand for today, I think I struggle a bit like most people with what is genuinely me. I actually think with so much that I’ve done over the last several years of my life, I lost a little bit of what made me authentic.

It’s not an easy realization. It’s actually quite sad. But, slowly, as I’ve repaired my own brokenness and focused on gratitude, blessing and self growth, I’ve come to find pieces of me that make me more authentic than ever. There’s just one last task that remains when you begin to find your authentic self – you must fight to keep it.

Fight for all you have to stay genuine and authentic. Whether it’s using your voice, questioning your behaviors, denying the temptations or the allure of what others are trying to get you to do and say. These are all the battles we must face each day to stay real to ourselves.

Today, I”m reflecting on my genuine self. I’m defining my identity in detail. One thing I know I am for sure is a writer. I love to write. I’m passionate about words and what they mean. So, the poem I wrote above is real, it’s authentic. And although one of my greatest fears is sharing the writing I do for some weird human psychological reasons I can’t begin to unfold, I know that my only way through the fear is by just letting it free.

Just like the girl in the poem, when you pursue what is real to you – it often means you leave a lot in your wake. Whether that’s people or things, usually it’s for the best. Shedding those layers makes us more of who we are, but we have to be willing to let it all go for the pursuit of who we truly are.

Please share your thoughts in the comments or find me on Instagram at IntentlyAmy.

How Affirmations Work

It’s difficult to see the science behind how affirmations work when you’re just starting out. In fact, most people – myself included when I first began – find it silly to express themselves in this way and rarely catch on to the magic for a prolonged period of time. If you’re like me, when you hear the word affirmations you probably think of that video of the little girl in her bathroom yelling into her mirror “I CAN DO ANYTHING GREAT!” I mean who wouldn’t, it’s adorable!

Want to jump in and get started with affirmations? Go to the end of this post for a daily affirmation tool you can use each day.

But, affirmations aren’t really like this….

Yesterday, I wrote an article about an interesting question I ask myself to realign my path toward the goals I want to achieve. The question is “what remarkably stupid things am I doing today that will ruin my life?” It helps me to see not the tasks I should be doing, but rather helps me evaluate the tasks I should not be doing. As I went on my day and began to think more about how this question leads me on my path, an empowering thought came to me.

“If I’ve been this blessed to experience so much of the world, so much giving, so much growth and success already in my life, then what God has in store for me next is just going to be unfathomably amazing…”

Like…. WOW. And, I don’t say this to rub into anyone’s face that things are going well for me and that I have success and happiness just flowing endlessly. The reality is that my life is probably just as ordinary as others. A lot of people are probably much more blessed than I am. But, I am profoundly grateful for all that I have. That thought I had proved to me that I really do believe that abundance and joy are not just coming for me, but they already are here. The belief I have is like a fire in me that no one can put out.

This is how affirmations work. Affirmations rework your brain to cause fierce optimism and positivity. I love that word fierce to describe the outcome of affirmations. It means “furiously eager or intense.” Can you stop fierce? I don’t think so. You can try, but it would take a lot of effort. And, so affirmations every day – simple positive phrases that you can listen to and say each day work to make you believe what maybe you didn’t know you could believe in before.

If you don’t believe that this could work for you, I challenge you to just try it.

An Easy Daily Affirmation

Each morning for the next week, wake up and say this to yourself:

I love myself.
I am grateful I am strong and confident.
I am grateful I am blessed and successful.

After 7 days, leave me a comment or DM me on Instagram @IntentlyAmy and tell me how you feel. If you’re not fiercely believing these statements and feeling their impact then keep going.

Change Your Perspective: Ask Not What Should I Do, But What Shouldn’t I Do

The best question you can ask yourself today is “what remarkably stupid things am I doing today to ruin my life?” Is that dramatic enough for you? Ruin is BIG word, but really we don’t fully understand the impact of our decisions until they’ve slapped us in the face. As I reflect on this question, it’s actually really simple for me to see that a simple change in my perspective can completely change myself.

This whole internal conversation was spurned by a consideration I had about what the difference is between perception and perspective. Perception is your interpretation of a situation. Whereas perspective is your view on a situation. Perspective is guided by your beliefs and attitudes and isn’t what you take away but rather what you bring to the table.

Consider what it takes to get motivated to accomplish your goals. Let’s use fitness as an example. You see that super fit, healthy image of a person that makes you feel a lot of different emotions. Perhaps, you see that image or person and think to yourself how badly you wish you could look that way. Maybe it evokes want, or guilt, or shame. Maybe it inspires you to go for a run or hit the gym. But, rarely are we thinking about that positive image when we’re in a compromising situation that we know will keep us from hitting our goals.

Instead, during those moments when we’re tempted by a donut or a big, unhealthy pizza that we know will just sabotage our diet, our will power crumbles. I don’t about you, but I don’t just carry magical motivation cues everywhere I go. Finding motivation in a time of what feels like crisis isn’t really my go-to. But, what if we were motivated by what we don’t want and our perspective is just skewed.

What if we saw these unhealthy habits and our view on it wasn’t that it was a delicious meal guaranteed to deliver a hit of endorphins and make my tastebuds explode with flavors? What if we thought instead that the pizza or donut is going to RUIN MY LIFE. How? Well, first it will clog my arteries or inject me huge increase in glucose levels. Then, I may get diabetes or start to gain fat around my belly that eventually causes a heart attack. That could lead to me in the hospital or maybe even premature death.

Ok, this is a very extreme example that doesn’t happen that fast usually, but let us for a moment think about how our brains are wired to think about the foods we eat in those moments. Shifting your perspective and asking yourself simply how you’re contributing to negativity or life-ruining consequences could save you from the rollercoaster of pleasure-seeking decisions that actually in the end do not provide you with any true value.

Sticking with the fitness example, now imagine looking at that desirable image of what you wish you looked like and thinking to yourself that it’s not too far off from reality. Your perspective shifts and now you’re not thinking about all the hard things you have to do to achieve that – lift weights, workout, eat healthy, but rather you are looking through a new lens of what you shouldn’t do. Suddenly, you’re making better decisions by recognizing that donuts are actually not all that good, pizza is kind of greasy and makes you feel bloated, sitting down all day makes you feel more tired, drinking a soda gets you all jittery and then makes you crash.

You simply asked yourself – what remarkably stupid things am I doing today that could ruin my life? Suddenly those things seem silly and unimportant. The best takeaway I had from reading that question to myself is that sometimes it’s just too hard to resist temptations thinking about the ways that I could make better decisions. But, when I look at it in terms of what stupid decisions I’m making and their consequences, it can be very eye opening and inspiring.

If you’re interested in exploring more on “changing your perspective”, check out this powerful other example.

I hope this helps you too! Share your thoughts in the comments or drop me a DM on Instagram @IntentlyAmy.

75 HARD: 75 Days of Mental and Physical Growth

When I first learned about 75 Hard – a super 75 day challenge created by Andy Frisella – I didn’t actually stop to look up how it was supposed to work. I simply learned about the rules from a friend, made up some of my own rules, and dove right in. It wasn’t because I wasn’t interested in the real rules, rather I was so excited I didn’t even realize that it was a legitimate program that people are doing all over the world.

So, about 14 days into my new life, feeling empowered, kind of achy, and mentally fresh, I looked up the “the 75 hard challenge” and the first link I saw was Frisella’s text heavy explanation. It felt a little dicey at first, with big disclaimers and a sort of raw web page that didn’t feel legitimate. But, then I realized, this program is so much different than I thought. The words that stuck out to me at the very top of his website say:

“THIS IS NOT A FITNESS PROGRAM

75 HARD IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM”

Source: https://andyfrisella.com/pages/75hard-info

Well if that doesn’t pique your interest… So, I dove deeper and what this program claims to do is change your life completely. And, who wouldn’t want that? Things from being better friends and family members, to getting raises at work, and becoming more confident, are the outcomes Frisella says are possible when you take part in the 75 Hard program.

Opinions on 75 Hard

Then something interesting happened. I continued my research, scrolling down the search results page only to find one negative article after another. Now, I’m 23 days into this program and yes, it’s hard. I’m tired. My body is sore all over and I can’t get enough sleep right now. But, I feel amazing! I am balancing everything in my life to a point where I’m able to do more, I have more self-confidence than ever, and I actually wake up and crave my daily routine of positive affirmations and motivational “priming”. I’ll get to my routines in another blog.

So, why are all these big media sites bashing the 75 hard challenge? I’ve concluded it’s because people don’t understand what it takes to transform yourself. One of the caveats of the program is to select a diet program and stick with it for the 75 days. Now, when people are desperate to make changes, they sometimes rush to do the most drastic thing they can. Well, that’s a surefire way to get yourself into a mess fast. Everyone is well aware that yo-yo dieting is a real thing and that intense changes to your diet or fitness routines are not sustainable. They can lead to health problems and opposite intended effects on your body like fat and weight gain.

Hence, the negativity surrounding 75 Hard. Since you get to choose your own diet, you can be make this terrible decision and it’s easy if you don’t do your research first! If you’re choosing a drastic diet plan and a drastic fitness plan, then yes you may be making this 75 days more dangerous than it needs to be. However, that’s not the point of a 75 day challenge. So, there are some different ways to think about it and make this a more positive, safe program. (Why don’t writers ever speak to the positive things?!)

Forming Life-Long Habits

75 days is a long time! That’s over two months of consistently doing the same activities day in and day out to expand your mind and grow your mental fortitude. They say it takes just 21 days to create a new habit… well that’s actually a bit of a myth. There are several articles now backed by scientific studies that prove it can take about 66 days or 2 months. So, during this 75 days, you’re creating completely new habits for yourself. Imagine, just 75 days and even if you just wanted to make one positive change – you can do it. That’s so empowering to think about!

The most important thing someone could do when preparing for the challenge is decide on the most sustainable habits to create life-changing results and not contribute to dangerous behaviors. I mean let’s be honest, if you do something consistently for 75 days, there is no doubt you’re going to see some change! But, you also must be able to stick with it.

So, my positive spin on the 75 Hard challenge isn’t to warn people of the potential dangers and pitfalls. I’d rather encourage people to choose something that’s simple and accomplishable in 75 days. Remember, it’s every single day for over 2 months. You have to mentally commit to that change and when you do, it can be so powerful. It doesn’t have to be a crash diet or impossible calorie restriction because 75 days is enough time for any small diet changes to show big results.

Plus, you’ll get so addicted to the feeling of just being stronger, smarter, clearer in thought, that you’ll want to do more than 75 days anyway. Think about this for the long haul…

I’m interested in your opinions! Leave a comment or let’s chat on Instagram @IntentlyAmy!

Les Brown Speaks to Me: Finding Motivation

A wise friend has said to me multiple times he needs motivation every single day to get going. There is no day that doesn’t start with a routine that opens his mind to new ideas, inspires good ‘ole hard work, and encourages him to get moving. That sat with me. Then, I adopted that same thought process. Now, it drives me and has opened my mind to achieving more than I ever thought possible.

It now surprises me when someone says they don’t need motivation. I’m a pretty active and “busy” person. Not only am I working a full-time at a start-up tech company that I’m 200% invested in helping grow, but I also have a side hustle consulting for small businesses on marketing, and I’m getting my Master’s in Business Administration. Plus, I workout at least 7 times a week and dedicate at least an hour every day to development and growth, like learning to play guitar or reading up on the latest technology and business news.

However, I don’t wake up every day powered up and fueled, ready to take on everything. It takes a spark, a jolt of inspiration to get going and find the energy to do it all. For me, Les Brown’s inspiring stories or a few videos on the Motivate App are what get me going each morning while I drive to the gym or while I sit in the sauna. (Les Brown’s the Power of Purpose literally brings me so much joy.) Finding what speaks to you is an important part of the process… so we’ll get there. But first it’s seeking that inspiration.

The way I think about it is that I don’t have to muster up all the energy in the world to get my day started at 100% effort. All I have to do is have enough energy to roll out of bed, put my clothes on, and be open to receiving motivation. If I can open my phone and just watch one of those videos or listen to Les speak, then it happens…. my brain powers up and my gears start turning. And, after that you can’t stop me! It even gives me physical energy to push through tough workouts.

Today’s blog is just to inspire you to think about things differently. Are you someone who doesn’t believe you need motivation? Have you ever considered adding “getting motivation” as the number one thing on your to-do list each day? Perhaps a shift in that mindset could lead to something great.

The Excuses for Avoiding Motivational Content

Among some of my favorite reasons people avoid motivational content are:

  1. “I don’t need motivation. I’m happy the way I am.”
  2. “That stuff is a bunch of BS. No one really needs that to be successful.”
  3. “My life is great. I don’t need anything else, so why would I seek out motivation?”

So, what if we rejected these beliefs? What if we accepted instead that we are not as powerful as we think we are? That even though our lives are wonderful, they can always be better. We can always be better and share that light with others.

Our brains are powerful networks and the science behind motivation is actually quite interesting. Today, I challenge you to just CONSIDER. In the next few blogs, I’ll explore the science behind motivation, my habits with motivation, and great ideas for seeking motivation. For now, just consider what would happen if you sought out motivation first thing every morning.

Whether it’s an inspirational quote, a series of affirmations, or a hyper-charged pump up video, just consider shifting your mindset to accepting a different way of starting your day. Then, grow from there.

Plant the seed. Watch it grow.

A